What's the point?

I dislike needy people. People who fish for compliments, people who feel sorry for themselves. Most of all I dislike people who don't make decisions for themselves. They can't own up to the fact that they can't make a decision because if they make the wrong decision they will have to admit that they are wrong. I dislike people who don't own up when they are wrong.

I like People who are honest, I like people who are modest but at the same time, confident. I like people who don't care what other people think but still care about others feelings. I like people who don't pity but are charitable, I like people who admit their faults but also make great strides to improve.

How do I feel about myself? I like and dislike things but I don't hate myself. Remember back in highschool when Hate was a word that was in regular use. Almost as often as, 'That sucks!', 'This sucks!' Etc.

The reason I was thinking about all of this was that I've felt needy lately and that's just not me, I was never an attention starved kid and I hate whiners. But I have felt kinda bummed lately to the fact that I think that our latest Episode of Nim was one of the best we had ever done. I was really proud of it. I was proud of the edit of it too. It was like working hard on a drawing, painting, model, art piece, etc and then sitting back and just looking at it. I am proud how it turned out. I think the co-hosts that I share the show with did a great job and that we've grown together doing it. There is always room for improvement but we've definitely worked down a sense of timing.

I posted the show with glee. I hoped for a flood of feedback. A small current of good cheer maybe. But it seems that people don't always seem compelled to let you know what they thought. Maybe this is a good thing. Just looking at onslaughts of negative words given to other shows, even Tv shows I enjoy like Sopranos would be enough to make me want to quit. Maybe people are just enjoying the show and that's it. I mean I listen to other podcasts and never write in or leave voicemails. If I do write a host of a show it's usually the standard fare, 'I really like the show, keep it up.' kinda stuff. And I have recieved lots of messages like that which is great.

I want people to enjoy the show, Yes. But I also want the show to have a bigger audience, Naturally. I want a huge audience. From episode 1 to now which is Episode 38, i've had doubts. I've second guessed lots of decisions but I made decisions of what I don't want the show to be more than what I want it to be. I never wanted it to be about Politics or Religion, I didn't want it to have to be a bunch of hard nosed Opinions. I just want it to be a good time. I want people to fucking laugh.

If you've listend to the show, you know for a fact I laugh. It's terrible I know but I laugh my ass off doing the show and goddamn it's therapeutic as hell. I feel great when the show is over. I feel filled with a positiver energy. Now don't get me wrong there have been times that the show has ended and i've had a migraine, We've had our share of technical problems. But, when we go off without a hitch it can be a beautiful thing.

Episode 38 is one of those times and I am proud of it. I want you to listen. Don't worry about giving any feedback other than Laughing loud enough for me to hear it. That's all I want. I am at peace.


Zombie Outbreak - Farewell Katie - Ursprache - Vanessa's Reading Voice - Voicemail - Star Wars Dvd Rant - Bravo's Lame Top 100 List - Ghost Rider - Star Mangled Spanner - News Break - 5 Takes: Singapore - So you think you can Dance - Last Comic Standing - The Apprentice - The News - Cult News w/Bill - DVD's of the Week: Firewall - Our Shocking Finale

Episode 38