Thanks Dad

So I ask my Dad today if he's listened to the Podcast. He'd only listened to the first episode and now doubt not all of it. I asked him what he thought. He mainly only had things to say about the music he'd written for it and how the poor quality of audio I had chosen to encode the show in had caused the music to sound crappy. It was of poor sound quality. I explained that we'd done 3 more episodes and were learning with each episode and I believed made an improvement each week. He then went on about other things and I stopped defending the show and simply was ready to get off the phone.

I don't want to seem petty or like a big baby but all I wanted him to say was, "Good Job son, Good work son, Neat show son, Not bad son, Anything son." I'm being a bit dramatic most likely but I hung up thinking, "What the fuck?" It reminded me of Kindergarten of all things.

This is very hazy but I assure you this did happen. This was while we lived in California in Redondo Beach. My Dad was picking me up from school. Kindergarten at Washington elementary. We'd done wood working that day. I was 5 years old. I remember painting a piece of wood red with paint and then hammered nails into bottle caps on the top most flattest area and called it a boat. I was very proud of my boat. The projects all of us had done sat in the sun to dry so that we could take them home at the end of the day. I can still remember waiting impatiently from inside the classroom staring out the window at my Boat. I couldn't wait to take that home. I couldn't wait to stick that nasty piece of wood with old bottle caps and nails into the bathtub when I got home.

Later, after Kindergarten was over and we all filed out I picked my now dry Boat off of the newspaper that laid on a slab of concrete outside. I was giddy with excitement. I got in the car and showed my Dad what I had made with a huge grin on my face. My Dad didn't hesitate to say, "Why couldn't you have made something like that?" He pointed at a boy carrying a wooden Bi-plane with a propeller that he was flicking with his finger showing it off for other kids.

I was deflated as I am now. You never did know how to boost the ol' confidence did you Dad?

In my Dad's defense he did give some helpful hints and such but my point was that I just wanted some positive confirmation at the work I'd done on this project. I do want it to be the best possible and I want people to like it and I love doing it.

I love my Dad and at the same time he drives me insane.