Trying to relax

Call it lack of inspiration or just having not much to say but I took some time off the blog just to reaccess things. I got to chill out a little this weekend and actually dug out the playstation 2 and played some NHL02' which was fun. Stephen came over and we played the Starwars Ep3 game which I thought kinda sucked. We started playing a game called Mercenaries and I lost interest. I just felt like it was a big waste of time, I don't know I used to be able to sit still with a video game for hours on end but now I feel like I should be doing something more worth while. sigh.

It's hard for me to relax anymore. I never sit still, I'm always moving trying to get stuff done and when I am done it's hard for me to just sit still and watch a movie or something. What's happening to me? I love movies and love to watch DVDs, i've just lost interest lately I guess. I don't know. I did watch two movies over the weekend with many pause breaks during them. Team America and Constantine. I thought bother were entertaining but neither great in any way. Team America was certainly funny but not hilarious. Constantine was well made but I just lost interest in it halfway through. I don't know if that was the movies fault or mine.

I've really gotten in to the show BIG BROTHER and I need to just stop watching before I become more addicted. I don't know why it's so interesting to watch people locked in a house together competing for money. In fact it brings out the worst in people. Lying and cheating and doing anything to get ahead. People rationalize treating others poorly and being mischievious as the way to play the game which spells out for me that I could never play such a game. My stomach couldn't handle it and I can't lie at all.

Being lied to is a painful thing and I've been lied to in such a way that when I realized it was a lie it was like being punched in the gut and stabbed in the back at the same time. It's a miserable thing to be lied to and there's nothing more terrifying than not being able to trust someone especially someone that you love. It sucks. So when I watch this show and I see people make deals and break them all for the sake of prize money that will mostly go to taxes I ask myself how can it be worth it? Perhaps it shows peoples true colors, there are bright spots in the game, people that are likable that become the House guests that people trumpet as their favorite. But those people rarely win a game like this as it's the people who are best at decieving that win the jackpot and that my friends is why I steer clear of Reality TV. It makes my stomach hurt.