Rise and shine Asshole!

This morning I wake to the sound of hair drying. It's the annoying whirr of a hairdryer and it's my wife in the bathroom blowing her hair dry with one of our wonders of technology. With all of the advances they still haven't managed to invent one that doesn't awake husbands amidst enchanted slumbers. I forgive her cause that's what husbands do and get into the bathroom to begin my morning routine. The bathroom is about 90 degrees probably because of all of that hairdrying with the door closed. I look for the entertainment weekly that's been in the bathroom for the past week but remember I put it into the closet to keep my daughter from tearing it up. It's the one with BATMAN on the cover. I've skimmed through this issue every morning all week and I am to the point where I can't look at it anymore anyway, but I need something to read. I actually leave the same reading material in the bathroom for so long that I get pissed when I start flipping through familiar pages. Grrr. I need some magazine subscriptions and a few perscriptions. Seriously though...Flush. Shower rinse repeat. Dry my Beautiful set of locks.(i.e. hair) You see since my daughter was born I am the master at getting showered and dressed before my daughter wakes up. I couldn't take a shower if she was crying in her crib when she was an infant, so I started getting up earlier than her and did my stuff before her so I didn't have to stress her or I in the mornings. I'm probably not a morning person cause I cried in my crib every morning wondering where the hell my parental unit was. But maybe not I can't remember that long ago. I go and turn on the PC and the TV and get my morning Diet Soda Pop (Doesn't drink coffee). I push the indian out of the way and grab a S'more flavored Pop Tart out of the Cupboard. YUM! I skim through my usual sites, (see my links page) and wait till my daughter lets me know she's up and then after I change her Dipe Dipe We share a Pop Tart while watching Barney!!! He loves you he loves me we're a dysfunctional familllleeeee!!! I got nuthin'